Rhapsody of my Demise
by ScreamScarlett
Summary: " 'When older brothers are born first, they protect the little ones that come after them.', that's what my brother used to tell me," Ichigo frowned. "right before he died with mom." OC-centric
1. Kurosaki Ichigeki

**A/N:**This is a story about someone before Ichigo's time as a Shinigami. I wanted to create a sort of story of how all things began with other people before it evolved into the main BLEACH storyline. I also have to warn you that this is mainly following my original character, older brother of Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu. I hope my story turns out for the best, because I really wanna have good reviews. And please, leave any suggestions of what should happen to cause what things could happen in the future of BLEACH, like the smallest mysterious occuring around my character to make it as it was in Ichigo's time.

Also, I think it would be nice to create a few enemy Arrancars for my character to face off against, I really need help such as what their names are (and not Japanese ones, the weird Spanish sort of ones, I really kinda get ticked off when people name Arrancars Japanese names), what their zanpakutos are named, what they look like, what they could do, and all that stuff... Maybe even the previous members of the Espada before the Espada created by the Hyougoku. Thanks for listening and I hope you guys will enjoy the story following after my fanfic's main protagonist before Ichigo takes over; remember to read and review!

* * *

The Kurosaki Clinic

A small, lovely, and affordable place to help the wounded and sick, and sometimes in an occasion watch over a severely injured person before a major hospital takes the injured back to be properly treated. Karakura Town was a bit of a rough place when it was with the violence and the no good people hanging around, so it was by a code of honor that the little clinic gave it's vow to protect and care for anyone who needed the help they could get from whatever situation it would be. Life was simple that way and it came along with the bitter harshness, the sick and hurt would come and they would go when they were in better health and better shaped. But that only happened mostly, while some other times were of misfortune and sorrow when a life couldn't be preserved long enough to see another day, be with another person, or just want to go out and start another adventure in the world.

It was the life the owners chose to take with the risks of coming through, through whatever good and bad may come from the little clinic, they would stick together and keep their honor to help treat people. The rising sun radiated behind the tall skyscraper buildings and houses, giving a small light for a sleeping form, his bright odd-colored orange hair matching with the orange sky that grew brighter. Faint snoring indicated the young male was still asleep, dreaming under the warmth of the morning solar flare with utmost peace...

Well, it was at first.

"TIME TO WAKE UP MY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SON~!!"

Kurosaki Isshin jumped through the forcefully opened door, legs aimed for the bright-haired sleeping target as his socked feet came closer to the still figure on the once peaceful bed.

But not a moment later, Isshin found himself on the floor, legs dangling oddly in the air, as well as his bottom rear, while his back was still connected to the floor. Above him, a youth with a very irked expression glared down at his father, annoyance riddled in his groggy amber eyes. The scowl on his face was an obvious give away to tell the doctor that his son was not amused of their usual greetings of the morning, I mean, what kind of man barges in and attacks his sleeping son? Apparently, this one does.

"It's 7 in the morning and already yer givin' me hell," the boy growled. "Give me a break!"

"Ah, I see, your reflexes catches on! That's my boy, this is the kind of man a Kurosaki breeds from his loins-"

"Shut up about praising me and yer damn loins! I don't give a rats ass!"

"NO CURSING, YOU FOUL-MOUTH DELINQUENT!!"

"Fine! I don't give a _HOOT_ what you are trying to teach me, leave me alone!"

"Ichi-nii,"

Both Kurosaki men looked up towards the door where there stood a little boy, wide big chocolate brown eyes staring at awe. His bright spikey orange hair matching the older boy's, his innocent features contrast to his older sibling's. Seeing his brother crouched over their father, the little boy frowned in disapproval of their actions, fathers and sons didn't fight each other, they were suppose to love each other. But of course, once again, this family didn't function like your average Japanese family. In this clinic, Kurosaki men don't hug, they PUNCH.

"Hey, mornin' Ichigo."

Ichigo was still frowning, poor lil' 9-year-old was still in that cycle where kids thought everything was of rainbows and butterflies. But by the time the kid hits puberty, then he would finally open his eyes and would have to try and learn how to sleep with one eye open for any possible "dynamic entries", as the older brother would put it for their father's outrageous entrances.

"Ichi-nii, mommy says breakfast is ready!" the little boy announces, forgetting the compromising positions the older ones were in before running of to the nursery rooms of the fraternal twins and get them to come to breakfast for their mother's special pancakes.

"C'mon dad."

Kurosaki Ichigeki, 19-years-old, post graduate who was about to take off into college for the study of medicine, walked out of the room in time to bump into his two little sisters. Karin was yawning away while she followed Ichigo downstairs, little Yuzu clutched on her elder brother's dark sweatpants as she rubbed the sleepiness off her. Scooping the little girl up, Ichigeki made his way downstairs where the strong aroma of fresh pancakes danced in the air, making his mouth water slightly.

"Hey mom,"

"Hey to you, too, Geki." the ever soft-spoken woman greeted with her innocent smile.

Masaki, mother of four and still looking like a young beautiful woman, there must be a secret to how older women look good when they got older, the orange-haired teen watched his mother before his eyes to the little one in his arms that wanted to get to her little breakfast. Taking a seat next to Ichigo, Ichigeki watched the little squabbling his younger siblings did, rolling his eyes when Isshun made funny noises and ridiculous faces to cheer the twins when one of them grew upset over something so small. This would be the last time he would see his father, siblings, and mother together in their usual morning routine for the start of a new day...

"Wow," Masaki came in, setting down a plate in front of her eldest son. "I can't believe you're already heading off."

"Uh, yeah..." the teen reached for his fork.

"Oh~" Isshin sniffed dramatically with his fake tears. "I'm so proud! My little fruit blossoming into a flower-"

"What?! Fruits don't become flowers you dumb ape!" the teen argued.

"MY SON~!!" Isshin jumped from his seat, attacking Ichigeki with a massive bear hug, knocking both men from the table and causing the littles ones to burst in laughter while Masaki watched with a raised brow and amused smile. "GIVE DADDY ONE LAST KISS~!"

"NO!! LEMME GO!! MOOMMM!!"

_**SMOOCH~!

* * *

**_

**Later**

"Dammit, why'd she have to sweet talk me into doin' this..." Ichigeki grumbled, rubbing his flushed face as he scowled angrily from early morning's little fiasco. In return for the embarrassing kiss, the goat-chin got a black eye.

Today, Masaki had insisted that he go around Karakura asking his friends to sign a farewell scribble and their names for when he left tomorrow morning for his plane to America. Already he had 6 other people signing it, causing him to look down to reread their farewell's;

_"Bring me a souvineer!"  
**~ Yamaguchi Yoshua**_

_'As if I would, you pig!'_

_"Send me a lot of pics of the hott chicks!"  
**~ Jinmaru Shou**_

_'Fuckin' perv!'_

_"Come back alive when they kick ya out, dandelion-head."  
**~ Jomei Danno**_

_'You shut the fuck up! Just cuz' yer the big jock doesn't mean yer in the big leagues, fucker!'_

_"Take care of yourself, study hard and succeed!"  
**~ Maro Akira**_

_'Finally, nice support. Thanks a lot, a lil' nerd.'_

_"Remember to write back when I send you a message, I mean it!"  
**~ Susumi Minako ;p**_

_'Demanding things from me. Is that how all women are?'_

_"Wish you luck, kick ass!"  
**~ Haruhara Emihana**_

_'You stupid broad, I ain't goin' over seas to get my ass kicked!'_

Ichigeki looked up from his farewell card, looking up at a different apartment building and the very last he would be visiting to his final circle of friends. Climbing up the stairs rather than the elevator, the teen finally reached the floor, walking to the door and raising his hand to knock on it but paused when small shoutings were heard faintly behind the door. Huh, he mentally scoffed, they must be at it again. No more waiting, the orange-haired teen knocked on the door loudly so the screamers could hear, he waited when there was a small sound of something toppling over until the locks of the door came undone. The door opens and the ginger-head looked down where a little brunet boy with wide dark brown eyes and a startled expression was on his face.

"Hey Keigo, can I talk to yer sis?" the teen asked.

Seeing hope brimming on his comical expression, the boy ran from the door, leaving it wide enough to see the boy's back until he disappeared into some hall where there was a moment of silence and then a loud booming voice came across the house. Wanting to be generous as to help the little boy from being attacked by his sister again, Ichigeki called out loudly without stepping inside the apartment.

"Hey, Mizuho! I need to talk to ya!!"

The loud voice came down, then there was footsteps until a young teen brunette girl came through the hall. Her once annoyed expression turned a bit surprised then suspicion. Once she reached the door, she rests her hands on her hips, looking up at the taller boy with an expected look.

"What do you want, Geki?" the girl raises a brow as she spied the card in his hand. "Need my autograph?"

He scowled deeply, seeing her grow a smile. "Shut up will ya, just sign yer damn name and I'll get the hell outta ya hair, alright?"

"I want to eat."

"Eh?"

Mizuho had her shoes and jacket on, calling to her father, that was too busy watching television of the latest soccer game championship cup. The lazy couch potato was in another world, leaving Keigo to be in the mercy of his older sister, but when the television was off, the old man was back in charge and Keigo was safe... for now. Ichigeki groaned, why did he bother coming here again? Oh yeah, because Masaki would call and ask if Mizuho had signed his farewell card, and no matter how late it would be, Masaki would send him to go get it, be it day or night, rain or shine. Following after the smaller girl to a nearby snow cone bar, the teen growled angrily when she purposely forgot her wallet...

* * *

"They are very creative in their good-byes." Mizuho noted as she read through the card.

"You think?" the Kurosaki sighs as he sips his coffee.

"Methinks you have a lot of things to do as you go to study in the medical field." she grins. "Here, let me add another thing in the list."

"I ain't gonna do it!"

The Asano girl did it anyway, signing both her "farewell" and her name before handing it back to the ginger-haired youth. Ichigeki flipped it to read what she had signed, his left brow twitching and his already scowling face frowning very deeply;

_"Only stupid people do stupid things, stupid."  
**~ Asano Mizuho 8D**_

"Now why ya gotta be like that?" Ichigeki demanded lowly, glaring at the brunette. "How the hell did ya end up in my circle, eh?"

"What can I say? You are a bad influence on me."

"You sayin' this is my fault?!"

"What do you think?"

"You bitch..."

"Uh huh," she ignored him, looking down at her watch. "Well, I gotta go, I'll see ya later."

"No you won't! I'll be leaving by the morning flight!"

"Well, I'll go to Minako. She'll somehow get her dad to find connections with you, and then I can harass ya all I want!"

"I should demand a restraining order against you guys!"

"You against a powerful CEO? I think not."

"BITCH!!"

"Bye~!"

He huffed, watching the girl leave. A small smile came to his scowling lips, watching her with small amusement before it returned to his trademark angry face as he looked back to his clock. It was 6: 47, he looked up, noticing how the sun was heading west but still high enough. It was about this time after school that Ichigo would heading to the Dojo to join his new friend, Arisawa Tatsuki. Paying for his and Mizuho's meal, Ichigeki made his way towards the elementary school where his little brother would be waiting for him.

* * *

**Later**

"What's America gonna be like, Ichi-nii?"

Little Ichigo stared up at the much taller young man, Ichigeki looked down at his little brother before looking towards the sky, catching a plane flying over the blue skies. He shrugged, he really didn't know, only saw pictures and received books to translate his Japanese to English, a gift from his parents. Ichigo frowned, he wanted his answers, it seemed the fact about grown-ups knowing everything wasn't true (weren't you guys disappointed to hear that truth from the first time?). Seeing the pout on Ichigo's face, Ichigeki reached down and ruffled the matching vibrant hair, earning a giggle and huge smile on the little boy's face that was identical of his own. It was no doubt from the hair and the shapes of their face that Ichigo would grow up to be the older brother's double.

"Ready to try and kick Tatsuki's butt?" Ichigeki asked jokingly.

"Of course I am!" the determined little strawberry boy shouts.

"Atta boy, Ichigo."

"There you are!"

Both ginger-heads look up, an immediate bright smile coming to Ichigo's face as he runs forward and attacking Masaki's legs with a huge hug his tiny body could muster. Masaki greeted Ichigo with her usual beautiful smiles that warmed both boys hearts, her brown eyes now turned towards the attention of the elder son who stood back watching the scene with hands in his pockets and an indifferent look on his face.

"I take it that you finished with asking your friends farewell?"

"Yeah."

"May I...?"

"Mom, trust me when I say that what is written here is not for your untainted eyes." he warned with a grimace.

"That bad?" she smiled. "Alright, let's go Ichigo?"

"Yeah!"

"You come along, too!" she called after Ichigeki, who attempted to leave for home.

"What? Why?! You made me walk around town askin' autographs, I wanna go home already ma!"

She only chuckled before turning to walk Ichigo further towards the Dojo they were coming up upon, sighing heavily, Ichigeki followed after his mother and little brother, miffed from the walking about in this town. Once reaching the Dojo, Ichigeki watched as Masaki helped with Ichigo getting his uniform for the Dojo, along with his headgear and boxing gloves. Ichigeki really never did get into the Dojo, life in his younger days was tough, from the harsh discrimination he had to go up against because of his hair that stood out from the crowd. When he had started out his circle of friends, they all had been his enemies before they eventually became his close friends, it was crazy but it was something he would be willing to take just to have people.

"Ichi-nii!"

Snapping out of his stupor, he looked down at his brother's wide chocolate eyes. Then he remembered, his flight out of Japan would be 6:00 o'clock in the early morning, leaving Ichigo and the rest of the household to sleep while he and his father would leave early to catch the plane on his departure. This would be his last time to be talking to Ichigo in person, it would take a few years to finally come back to his hometown, but until then... this was his good-bye to his baby brother. Finally seeing why his mother brought him along, Ichigeki kneeled in front of his brother, pulling the little strawberry closer to him so that they were eye-to-eye. Chocolate to Amber eyes.

"Alright, I ain't gonna be seeing you in a long while. But i need you to do something for me, it's important that you do this while I'm gone, okay?"

Ichigo nodded.

"I want you... to get stronger." Ichigo blinked, not understanding why. "I won't you to grow stronger so that you can take care of the family, be the big brother and take care of the little ones. You know why?"

"Because big brothers are born to take care of the little ones that come after them." Ichigo repeated with a smile.

"Right!" the elder Kurosaki grinned. "So go in the Dojo and kick butt, get stronger every time, don't let the kids at school pick on you and talk down at you. You make that angry face and they'll leave ya alone, if not, punch 'em in the face to get your point across."

"Okay," Ichigo nodded, his smile sad. "I'll miss you."

The little boy snuggled against the older brother, digging his face in the strong chest, taking in the scent of fresh July rain, the scent Ichigo always remembers, it was so natural, even if it wasn't raining, it was still a strong aroma to never be rid of, and he didn't mind. Pulling away, Ichigeki shared one last smile from his little brother before standing, pulling away slowly. Ichigo still had his grasp on his brother's warm calloused hands, slowly slipping away before bother hands were disconnected.

"Bye, Ichi-nii." Ichigo called out softly as he watched his brother's back leave after his mother.

Unknown to Ichigo, this would be the last time he would ever see Ichigeki and Masaki...

* * *

**Later**

Masaki decided to keep her son all to herself one last time since she had been too busy with Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu and Isshin spending as much time as he could with his son. It was perfect now, despite the rain outside, it was a perfectly good evening to spend inside a small shop where Ichigeki and Masaki talked and had dinner with together. A wonderful mother-son moment between the two, it wouldn't be a long time until they got together over Ichigeki's studies, so make the best of whatever time was left.

It was 8:44, very late, a time that the kids would be asleep by that hour. Paying for their dinner, Ichigeki and Masaki walked calmly through the rain, coats on and one umbrella open, both ventured in the dark of the night through the pounding rain. The teen's hair damp and soaked wet making it droop and shag a bit over his eyes, he sighed heavily as he earned a laugh from his mother.

_**SPLASH!!**_

"WATCH IT, JACKASS!!" Ichigeki shouted angrily at a passing truck that caused the splashing of a huge puddle the teen was passing by.

"Kurosaki Ichigeki!" scolded Masaki with a disapproving frown.

"Sorry, sorry." he sighed, closing his eyes.

"You're so tense."

"What do you expect? I'm going somewhere that's on the otherside of the world."

"..."

"Away from you, dad, Ichigo, and the girls..."

"We'll miss you very much, especially the kids."

"Yeah, same here for the kids."

Masaki paused, looking beyond a lit glass of an open convenient store where she spotted various types of little fruit charms hanging on some small shelf hooks.

"Wait here."

He watched silently with a confused look as his mother went inside, going through a shelf and grabbing three small items he could barely see. She went up to the cashier, paying for the small items before finally meeting him outside with a small plastic bag, handing him the purchased items. Curious, he reached inside, wondering what his mother had given to him, pulling on three strings where he was met with three little fruits.

A strawberry, a quince, and a hybrid of mandarin/Ichang papeda.

'Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu.' he smiled at his mother's clever sense of naming the three children after fruits.

"I know, we won't be there on the other side, but just take these with you." Masaki smiled. "To remind you, who's waiting for their older brother here."

"Hn. Thanks mom."

Offering his arm for Masaki, both mother and son walked in arm-in-arm through the rainy night towards home. As they were walking by the flooding rivers, just close to getting home across the bridge a mile ahead of them, Ichigeki stiffened when the familiar feeling of death came over him. Yes, it was something of a curse, as he would like to put it. The ability to see the dead beyond the human eye, only he and Ichigo bearing it, never telling anyone but themselves. Like having a "I see dead people" moment he and Ichigo would occasionally go through. There was no one around, he thought as he scouted the area, no one but himself and his mother.

That's when he saw her.

A little girl stood there, dressed in strange robes. He watched her, noticing that she had an odd blank expressionless face as she watched the river. It was like she was debating something, the way she was staring at the river made an uneasy feeling come over Ichigeki's stomach. This kid, it was like she was thinking of jumping into the river... to drown herself.

Shit!

"Mom! Hold on, I'll be back!" Ichigeki jumped over the rail, startling his mother before heading towards the girl.

"Ichigeki...? Ichigeki!" his mother followed, looking a bit panicked of why her son was heading towards the rushing river. "Ichigeki, stop!"

He came closer to the girl, running faster as the girl was leaning to close that she began to fall forward towards the river. He reached out, hand open to take her by the weird robes and haul her up. Hearing his mother cries, he did not notice a looming shadow with glowing red eyes... until it was too late.

The next thing he knew, both he and Masaki felt an unknown force, crushing them both from the back and darkness came over their world...


	2. dISASTER eNCASES aLL dAINTIES

**A/N:**Was the first chapter okay? I hope so, I mean, this is like making an epic turn to the original, but I'm gonna keep it that way, besides, what does happen between the 6 years while Ichigo grows up? Yes, be very curious, for now that I show you the otherside of the story my main ginger-headed OC is going through. I won't say more, I know what you guys are thinking what already happens but I wanna surprise you folks what goes on, enjoy this little piece about the other brother named Ichigeki... enjoy!

* * *

I don't know what happened, don't know how it started or how it even ended so I could only guess that I was somewhere in the middle. I felt hurt, I felt like a pressure weighing down on me and on the side I could faintly feel the fall of tiny droplets that absorbed me like a sponge. I remembered suddenly that it was raining but nothing else, too busy to struggle under the pressure that kept building over my body, like something huge was sitting on my back and was keeping me from getting up.

Everything was so painful.

Did a truck come in and hit me from the side? Did some beam from a construction site nearby fall from up above and landed on me? I wasn't sure, I was never paying attention of what the hell was happening around me and why everything hurt but I felt weak and tired like I wanted to give up and let the pressure build so that it could crush me. I felt like Atlas, just trying to hold the world up and if I let it take me down, I would just fall away... I felt like I was fading the more I let the feeling on top of me consume...

_I felt hungry._

_... So hungry..._

_I want to eat..._

* * *

I can't remember when I started thinking again, can't even remember when I even stopped thinking like I hadn't existed at all to begin with but now that I can I felt warm. It was cozy, more cozier than that stinkin' mattress dad gave me because I had a worse time on my old one, my neck cramped up for a whole week like I was one of those hunchback from those old Frankenstein movies me and mom would watch. Speaking of which... where is she?

_... the rain..._

_... it hurts._

_I'm hungry..._

I open my eyes, my vision blurry and groggy from how tired I felt but I couldn't stay still, not without knowing where my mother is and why the hell I'm in a old room that looked as though it could fall apart any second. I lifted my upper chest from the ground, my arms trembled from the tremble, like it couldn't take my weight but I had to keep going. The more harder I try to get up, the more dizzier and blurry it gets but I didn't care, I had to know what had just happened... Where was my mother? Where is that kid that tried to kill themself? And why the hell am I in some room that could belong to a homeless guy and not back at the house or even a hospital?

I leaned on the dirty cracked wall of the dark room, going towards the closed door. I weakly reached for the doorknob and twisted it, opening it that I cringed from the loud rusty sound of the door opening, and I clenched my eyes shut to block the bright lights I was hit with. Fuck, it was doing much worse with my vision going vertigo and my head throbbing like a massive headache that washed over me the moment I opened the door. I blindly stepped out, unsteady without the support of the wall I was leaning on, but I had to keep going, I had to look for my mom.

"... _mom_..." my voice, shit, my voice wasn't my voice at all. It sounded dead. "... _mom... mo... om_."

At that point, everything was just growing more worse that I fell on my knees and coughed, I kept swallowing so that way I wouldn't throw up. I hate throwing up, felt dreadful because for a moment your choking and while your pouring out your bile, you can taste and smell it at the same time that it makes you more sick but get over with quickly. I clutched my stomach, my head resting against the rough ground, felt like I was on a desert or something, I could feel the tiny sharp rocks and the dusty ground.

"..._ mom_..." I tried again, I just wished she answered me.

I heard something and slowly I realized they were footsteps, crushing the tiny gravel under their shoes as they came closer to me. Mom, it was mom, my fuzzy thoughts screamed at me. I wanted to look up and greet her but I couldn't, felt heavy all of a sudden. I tried to lift my head from the ground but my head felt like it's been hammered to the ground so that it wouldn't move, I couldn't even twitch my finger... I was stuck on the ground like some huddled turtle.

The footsteps had stopped and I knew now that this person standing over me was not my mother, she would have ran and came to my side if she felt something was the matter with me, but this person had just walked calmly like my situation was nothing to get panicky about.

"Oh my," a man's voice reached my ears, making me cringe because it sounded like I had my ear pressed against a stereo that had its volume loud. "Strong enough to be walking about despite the many kido seals put on you. Very impressive reiatsu you carry."

I wanted to smack this idiot, talking to me like I was his fucking long lost friend. Dammit you prick, I'm on the ground and I could have internal injuries and your talking to me like there's nothing wrong with this picture!

"... _where... mom_...?" I tried to say, but my voice was more of a silent whisper than that rusty voice I had been speaking out earlier.

It was silent for a moment, and for a second I thought that maybe the guy had just left as soon as he spoke but then I felt something come over my head. I think this guy was resting his hand over my head, and I think he was probably getting a kick out of it, maybe he was curious about my hair color. Everybody I practically run into wants to reach and touch my hair, see if its real, everybody thinks its dyed but I'm quick to correct them. I wanted to growl, warn the guy to back the hell off, but it came out as a whimper instead.

What was wrong with me?

"I'm sorry Kurosaki-san," I hear him again, and I pause because I could have sworn that I heard true concern and sadness. "I'm truly sorry."

Why? What's to be sorry about? I wanted to ask him and then demand where my mother was, but this time I couldn't talk at all, couldn't think anymore... Just wanted to sleep.

* * *

The moment I felt okay my eyes flashed open and I was up.

Instead of that dirty dark room with the cracked walls I had woken up in, I was in another room and this time it looked... decent. I was on a futon rather on the bed next to me, the wall was covered with some random posters that were mostly about jazz or boosting your confidence (the kinds you see in school). The lights were off but a small lamp in a nearby desk was on and it dimmed the room, my eyes adjusted easily. I wasn't at home in bed waking up from the nightmarish confusing dream, nor am I in a hospital from the hurt and dizziness I had felt so it meant one thing...

_'So, I wasn't dreaming.'_

I flipped the futon of my legs and thankful that I didn't feel as dizzy as I was or shaky the first time I woke up, I also noticed that I was still wearing since... How long have I been out? Didn't I have my flight to America today or... what the fuck was going on around here? Next time I run into the guy, whoever that was, I'm gonna take him by the front of the shirt and demand he tell me where my mother is. I bet he felt all high and mighty when I was on the ground, my head bowed and he got the idea that he was some king, and then he had the nerve to mess with my hair... That guy was as good as dead.

I made my way to the door that I spotted when my eyes darted everywhere for the exit/entrance of this room, I twisted the doorknob and pushed it open and I was greeted with the sight of bright lights I was forced to look away but I slowly adjusted to the sight, I blinked out the small stings and I could finally see.

I was looking at a desert.

Stepping outside, I kept my eyes to the big blue sky above, the clouds rolling by with all their white fluffiness, and my mind kept asking over and over the repeated question; How the fuck did I get my ass in a desert?

And that's when I hear a small explosion, a large cloud of brown smoke rising in the air for a brief moment before cleaning. Maybe there were people here who could tell me where I am and what the hell am I doing in a desert when I clearly recall that there were no deserts in Japan so its obvious that I'm in another continent. I ran past the many rocky gorges, jumping over a few small boulders, and through skinny little canons until I cam across an opening where I thought I saw the cloud of smoke. The air was a bit dusty to leave fresh evidence that something happened here.

"Is anyone here?" I call out, my eyes open for any movement and ears tuning in for any sound. "Hello!"

Something landed behind me, I whirled around to face whatever it was but I was only staring at legs dangling in the air, I followed the legs to meet a slouched body that had landed awkwardly from wherever they fell. I couldn't see the guy's face, there was a cap covering it so I went to give the guy a helping hand and maybe get some answers. Grabbing him by the arms, I lift him so his legs would drop to the ground and be dragged onto their feet, and I noticed the guy wasn't as tall but just lanky.

"Hey, you alright?" I ask him out loud, hoping he wasn't knocked unconscious.

"Wake up, Shinji!" I hear someone behind me say. "Don't screw around with the newbie."

A woman with glasses in a sailor uniform. Yes, a woman—not a young girl—in a school girl's uniform was approaching, her arms crossed and her expression cool and calculative. I could have taken her more seriously if she was wearing something much more appropriate like any other woman would wear but instead she's... I also notice two other people following behind her like they were bodyguards.

A dark-skinned guy with a funky-looking Afro do, dark shades covering his eyes, and wearing a green jumpsuit, at least he didn't look so suspicious but the Afro really had me looking. But there was something about him that said he played it cool and was on the easy side, like the sort of mellow and laid back.

And the last guy was the kind I would describe aristocratic, his dress shirt, his fancy coat and pants with the pointy boots to finish, really the high-time kind of guy, even his long wavy blond hair looked like it had a bunch of those salon people make it look pretty that women would be jealous that their hairs didn't shine that way.

Their faces were neutral as the woman coming closer to me and the unconscious guy in my arms, I don't know what was going on but my guts was telling me that these people were not someone to fool around with.

"Aw Lisa, you sure like to be the party-pooper of the group, huh?" the guy in my arms spoke up, surprising me.

"What the..." I start to mutter.

My arms were empty, the man was standing on his own and fixing his cap and shirt before turning towards me and I finally got a good look at him. His blond hair was even, up to his chin, and his front teeth were showing like the guy was letting the world see how white his pearls were. Now the first thing that came to mind when describing this guy; he seemed very blank. He just stared at me dully with his brown grey eyes, and I noticed that I am surrounded by these strangers. There's only one question that has been very famous for people who don't know where they are and I'm just about to use it,

"Where the hell am I?" I ask the blond.

"Is that how you start a conversation? That's very lovely." the woman said, her face saying she was annoyed of me.

"Guess what lady, you ain't the one waking up and walking into the middle of a desert with no knowledge of where you are and what's happening, now are you?" I shot back, annoyed that she found me annoying because of how serious I found the situation to be.

"He does have a point..." the Afro guy quietly agrees, whispering behind the woman's back to his blond fashionista buddy.

Before she could look back and snap to her fellows, the blond beside me spoke up. "I guess that would suck if we were in that situation, I'd want my answers straight away so I won't hold back..."

"Okay then, tell me." I nodded for him to continue.

"You're in Karakura Town."

"Are you kidding me?" I shout, angry that they were holding back. "Do I look stupid to you? I'm in a desert and last I check, there's no deserts in Karakura!"

"This isn't a desert, kiddo," the blond looks back to me, his eyes giving off that mysterious thing. "This... is a dome."

Now that was crazy, I shake my head in disbelief, I couldn't be in a dome. I'm standing outside, in the sun, and in the middle of a desert canyon. Seeing that I refused to believe what nonsense he was blabbering out of his mouth, he only smile instead of frowning like normally someone would react when people wouldn't believe them, just smile at me like I had told a joke. He pointed a finger up, still looking at me with those eyes, still smiling for nothing.

"Doesn't the breeze feel nice?"

"What?" I blink, wondering what the hell kind of question that was but...

I didn't feel anything. Not the warm heat of a desert sun, I didn't even feel like I was in a desert, the temperature stayed cool like I was in the city or indoors. This was not the normal weather of the desert heat... No way, I could not be inside a dome, this place looked so real! I checked again, the cloud still rolling by, the whole place dry and empty like any normal canyon desert, but the breeze was cool unlike one.

"I... I don't get it." I can only say, my eyes going back to these people around me. "What's going on? What is this place?"

"I told you, you're in a dome and still in Karakura. You really haven't gone anywhere." the blond again explains to me.

"Okay then, tell me another thing," this was something I've been wanting to ask now, the most important of all. "Where is my mom?"

And it got quiet there, no one opening their mouths to tell me anything about why I couldn't find my mom. I waited a few more seconds but my inpatients was growing very thin and I took time to look at their faces, all of them stayed straight and they refused to look away from my growing anger that appeared in my eyes. I had enough, I grabbed the blond by the front of his shirt, my face inches from him and I growled,

"Where is she? Where is my mother?" I shook him a little. "Why aren't you saying anything, what do you have to hide?"

"She's dead."

Whatever anger and rage was inside me had suddenly disappeared, the insides of my body freezing over like I was in some frozen storage. I felt empty, I felt small even, I felt vulnerable for the first time in a long while since I was a little kid. My mother... Ichigo's mother, Karin and Yuzu's mother... my father's lover... she's gone. The tight grip I had on the blond guy was gone and he slowly slipped away, my gaze went to my hands. The last time I saw her before I fell unconscious, she was calling after me when I went to grab that girl that was about to jump in the flooded river. She was trying to stop me and that's when something horrible happened and she and I both fell, but while I lived... my mother was gone from this world.

I crouched down, I didn't feel right standing, I felt sick all over again like the first time I woken up. I didn't want to throw up, didn't want to imagine what horrible things had happened, but there was one thing that kept ringing in my head; I had gotten my mother killed over a stupid girl. I could feel my eyes water, can't remember the last time I cried like this but I couldn't hold it in. I let out a whimper, my shoulders trembled, I just couldn't believe what I was hearing... I killed my own mother!

"Crap... c'mon man." I hear the blond tell me, crouching beside me. "Men don't cry, dammit. That's a woman's thing."

"Shinji, leave him." the woman quietly warns the blond. "He's had enough."

"You think this is bad? Think how bad it'll get when I tell him that he's—"

I stood up, rubbing my face over my coated-covered arm to dry my eyes from the tears. I had to go, had to go back home and tell dad and the little ones... I had to tell Ichigo. I finally looked back to the guy next to me, my face back to being stern.

"I'm... I'm still in Karakura, right?"

"Uh, yeah, that's what I said a few seconds ago." he nodded dumbly.

"Then what the hell am I doing here? I gotta go to my family." I made a move to find an exit but my arm was hauled back and I see the woman holding me back. "Hey, let go!"

"You can't go home to your family, fool!" she scolds me, and it only made me struggle.

"And why the hell not? My mom is dead! They have to know!" I pull harder but for a woman, she was really strong.

"Because," a sad look appeared over her face that caught me off guard, making me stop trying to pull my arm away from her and the nexts words made my heart stop for a moment.

"You're dead, too."


	3. Life won't Wait

**A/N:**The shocking revelations are revealed of the fate between Ichigeki and Masaki, what is to become of the Kurosaki family (we all know that but Ichigeki doesn't)? Find out in this next chapter, hope you are liking so far what I'm doing to keep it in line and real for Bleach fans to believe that Ichigeki isn't any Gary Stu (that would really suck if I got a review that he is). Continue to read if curious!

* * *

"Fuck you."

When she said I was dead, I wanted to swing and make her bleed but it was not in my nature to do so, I was raised to be better than that. My mother was someone who was important and part of my life, raising me to take in good characteristics and my father would just make me masculine and this is how I turned out; a guy who has an angry face but deep down is a big softy.

But I wanted to hit something real badly.

I was on ground before I could make a move, my hands on my back where the woman's foot was crushing my wrists to make sure they stayed down. And I was glaring at her, glaring at all of them, I wanted to scream and attack but that would just make things worse. It wouldn't do any good, but I'm a guy with a short temper and I couldn't hold my tongue in check so if I couldn't use my fists, I'd turn to verbal abuse.

"Calm down, I don't want to hurt you." she tells me, but I ignore her.

"Fuck off!" I cursed some more. "You—you fucking liar!"

I tried to push myself up but she pressed harder, I growled and squirmed but she had me real good. The other three just watched silently like this was nothing, their faces just as blank as that blond guy I had found earlier. Finally after what seemed forever, I held still and pressed my forehead on the dirt, I was damn tired and frustrated. The pressure on my wrists and back came off but I didn't get up immediately, just lied there.

"This is a difficult time for you, I know, but you will have to find out. This is the ugly truth, this is what happens in the after life." I hear her voice again, she was standing over me from up front. "So please, don't fight us. We're not here to be your enemies... We're trying to help you."

"Help me with what?" I ask. "I don't feel dead."

"This stuff works in a different level."

"Prove it." I finally lift my head from the dirt, glaring right at the woman. "Prove it, right now!"

"Fine." she turns away, walking in some random direction. "Follow me."

Giving a glance to the three that began to go along as well, I stand and follow after them but in a careful distance. Soon, I can see something in the distance, the closer we got, the more clear it was to see. There was a set of stairs heading to the sky and suddenly vanishing, not literally into the sky but like one of those optical illusions. This place was a dome, just like that lanky blond said it was. I see a dark hall from where the stairs go but I was brought back to attention when a loud voice pierced through my thoughts.

"Who the hell is this baldy?"

There was more than four people, another four-man group was taking up residence near the giant walk way upstairs into the dark place that lead elsewhere. A little blond pig-tailed girl stood in the way, her hands on her hips, her freckled face glaring straight at me which I too returned the look with an angry look of my own. She only narrowed her eyes at me but her attention went back to the lanky blond guy.

"That's none of your business, Hiyori." the blond walks past her. "Go back to catching flies with your gawking mouth."

**_SMACK!_**

A sandal had taken out the blond, who was bleeding on the floor, and place back under the girl's foot, she soon turned back to me to scrutinize me but someone came in the way, a green-hair girl with a weird jumpsuit that kind of looked like those shows that Ichigo would watch on television with dad (it's the source of how Isshin comes up with these dynamic entrances that continue to astound his children through life).

"Ooh, who's this? Who's this? Who's this?" the hyper-active girl asks, beginning to annoy a nearby silver-haired punk sitting at the couch.

"Would you keep you fuckin' mouth shut? God damn!"

"Hachi, Kensei's being mean again!" the girl cries, running over to a huge—no, more like a fucking gigantic man—with pink hair and mustache that had black crossbones over it and wearing a green suit.

Who ARE these people?

"Excuse me, Kensei." the woman steals the control from the silver-heads gloves hand, the man tried to protest but when he saw me he became silent.

Infact, everyone had turned silent (the green-haired girl however was forced into silence by the big man's effort) since I walked in on this little circle. I moved to get a closer look on a television nearby that was on some channel about cooking but then it went onto the local media channel, an anchorman with a grim expression on his face as he told a story.

"—Police report this bizarre death a freak accident, no signs of stab or bullet wounds were found and yet no explanation for the cause of death. These two victims were last seen from a small restaurant and the weather made this much more difficult for any other eye witnesses to see the event. The family and friends of the victims refuse to speak and request only privacy.

"But the identity of the two victims have been confirmed; Kurosaki Masaki, and her eldest son, Kurosaki Ichigeki."

Two faces appeared on the screen, a picture of my mother wearing her sundress and sun hat, she wore that 2 years ago for a friend's party and my dad wanted to take as many pictures of his _"beautiful goddess"_ to pin on the fridge doors, or show off to any stranger that had the unfortune of standing next to him.

And there was me, one of my friends took a picture of me when I had felt pretty mellow that day, I was just leaning back on my office chair with my arms resting behind my head and looking at the camera with a blank look. Normally when someone takes pictures of me, I either look the other way, hide my face, or just scowl angrily to make things difficult but I was feeling casual that time so they had a lucky shot of me.

"It's a tragedy to happen to these people. Both mother and son were out to only have dinner before the young man would take leave on a flight to America and pursue a career in the medical fields after his father—"

I still couldn't help stare at the black screen of the television, the words of that news man echoing in my head, my eyes burned with the images of my mother and myself going through the storm before it all went blank after I tried to get after that girl.

"I can't be dead." those were the first words out of my mouth from the tense silence. "I... It's not possible."

"That's what everyone who dies says, baldy." the little blond girl snorts, but she was silenced by the afro guy.

"Now you know," the lanky blond said, walking around me. "You're dead."

"That's your proof. You wanted it, you got it."

"No!" I shook my head, turning to the others with intense denial. "This is all bullshit! All of it! You guys are just a bunch of crazy people that belong in the psycho ward!"

The freckle-faced girl looked like she wanted to pounce and tear me apart, struggling angrily from the afro's arms but the man wasn't budging. I refused to believe this, I already had a tough time seeing dead people on a daily basis since I was a toddler but this being dead... That was just something I had to draw the line from there. The woman tried to speak up but I didn't want to hear it.

"Shut up! I had enough of your goddamn lies! I'm through with listening, I'm getting out and going home where everyone is waiting for me!"

"If you're not believing this then why the hell are you trying so hard to convince yourself?" the lanky blond suddenly snapped at me with much ferocity as I had, it actually made me step back from that dangerous look in his once dull eyes. "Do I have to spell out for you?"

I didn't want to stay here any longer with these people, my family could be still wondering where I am, with one glance to the stairs I was running mad. I was on the fifth step when someone grabbed me from behind, I caught a glimpse of silver and I jabbed my elbow into the guy's gut and I felt his arms come off me because of the impact and I'm back to running 4 steps at a time, using my hands a bit to get me up there faster. I look under my arm to see if they're onto me but I had been running for such a long while that the bright dome was a small light, I must be really deep underground, I thought to myself, but I was glad, no one was after me.

The place was a damaged warehouse, empty and full of broken concrete, the floors were smashed up pretty good that I could climb on the piled concrete to get the first floor up to third or fourth. But that was enough looking around, I had to get the hell out and back at the clinic because I knew for sure they were worried for where I was and little Ichigo would bring out the water works.

I see a giant closed door but I notice a button near the entrance that I knew it had to be the thing to open it, I press it and look over my shoulders to see if they still have caught up and thankfully they weren't there. The entrance began to open and I notice how dark it was, holy shit, I've been gone for a whole day, everybody would be freaking out by now.

_'But they'll be happy when they see me coming up the yard.'_ I thought with a small smile, running through the opening entrance and—

**_BAM!_**

"Oof!" I fell back on my ass, rubbing my nose I look up to see nothing but thin air. "What the hell?"

"That's a force field. Keeps things outside from getting in here, can't really get out unless we wanted you to."

I look back and to my horror the people I had left downstairs in the giant dome were standing behind me, these people looked like they hadn't been walking over a thousands of steps to get to the top, like they used the elevator to be up here where I am. But the guy I jabbed didn't look good, he looked like he wanted to tear me up like that little snot-nosed brat with the fang sticking out of her mouth. I shot up from the ground and made another attempt to leave but I was hit with an invisible force and I was again on the ground, groaning from having to slam my face first against the damn thing.

"Hah! Keep going, that'll get you somewhere!" the freckle-faced girl laughs at me.

"You shut your mouth you snaggle-toothed brat!" I yell back, steadily standing up.

"You wanna fight me, you bastard!" she steps up, now offended.

"No! I wanna leave!" I return to slamming against the invisible force, but I fell back only this time my body was taking the toll. "I wanna leave!"

I attacked the wall, pounding my fists but it repeled and I was again on my back, lying there for a moment until trying to get back up. I sluggishly slammed my shoulder against it but bounced back and I was on my knees and hands, staring at the dirty concrete ground. I weakly stand, walking to the shield and pull my hand back to try and punch my hand through but something grabbed my fist and I look back to see it was the lanky blond.

"Enough already, it gets me worked up when I see someone like this, you make me look like the bad guy and believe me as much as I want to let you out of here we can't do that." he gazes into the nightly air as if looking for something. "It's not safe."

"I'm... I'm not dead." I tried again, trying to pull away but the lanky blond had his grip tight. "I'm not dead."

I was crying again. When things like this happen, people tend to stay away from others because they never wanted to be seen like this, ever. But when they're alone in the world with nothing or no one to go to, they really want someone to hear them so that they could be found and be comforted. I did that a lot when I was at my weakest, mom and dad tried to do their best but I would always push them away, push Ichigo and the girls away. And now that I'm alone and crying... I wish my family was here.


	4. Crying is Angry

**A/N:**This is a sad, sad chapter people. Please be warned how this will break your hearts in the beginning of this, feel so down that little Ichi-brat is experiencing his loss of both loving family figures he had looked up to since being born. I feel like a total bitch doing this to him, it's one thing to lose his mother but my OC... his so-called big brother in this fictional tale? But it will help him, because he turns out to be the most badass character in the whole BLEACH universe!

Another thing on the side not that is kind of a totally different matter. I hope some of you guys are familiar with a famous old singer by the name of Johnny Cash, well, here's this funny thing I came across with. We all know that Ichigo is a very feminine name for the ginger-head, right? How he always gets in trouble for being named strawberry and his hair-color and stuff, and he turns out to be some angry-faced badass as he grows up in the big bad tough world. Well, I was just listening to this song of Johnny Cash that totally reminded me of Ichigo's whole ordeal... A boy named Sue. I laughed my ass off. Okay, enough of this silly thing, back to the tragicness!

* * *

Ichigo cried that day, and more days that rolled by.

His mother was gone, gone beyond his reach to comfort him and hold him when he felt the need of her arms wrapped around hims so warmly. But she wasn't there, she was gone and never there to share stories to him before he went to bed, cook his favorite dishes, and whisper to him how much she loves him so much. His father had named him Ichigo for a reason, it meant "One who Protects" and he failed to live up to his name. He was motherless, he was alone in the dark, and he felt powerless.

And his brother...

Ichigeki was the reason why he wanted to get stronger, his brother was the reason why he wanted to be tough to stop other children around him from their continuous cruel teasing, and his brother was the reason why he wanted to live up to his name. Ichigeki was his pillar, his role model beside his parents, a person to trust when he felt so weak. But now... little Ichigo felt destroyed.

Everything... was destroyed.

His whole family in ruins.

So he cried out loud, let the tears gather every time he woke up to see his mother no longer there to wake him up to join her and everyone to eat breakfast together in the morning. Cried some more when he wasn't able to go into his brother's room to find Ichigeki and his father crumpled up on the floor and fighting again like always. He couldn't help but think in his grief, what kind of person would dare hurt his precious mommy? And even if they tried to, shouldn't his brother been able to protect her himself? He'd always been able to make bad guys run the other direction just because of the angry look on his face, he was the most toughest fighter Ichigo had ever known.

So then why...? Why was he and mommy dead?

And why couldn't he see them like he always did with ghosts?

That's what made Ichigo cry the most about.

* * *

**Warehouse**

It's been two days now. Two days that seemed forever and endless from the confession that I was dead.

And I was trapped with these people.

Hirako Shinji took it upon himself to become my... teacher. Told me what I had to know about being a dead spirit, told me about about this world called Soul Society, also told me about creatures that ate spirits if a Shinigami happened to be not patrolling the area. That subject about Shinigami had me startled, not because of the fact that I wasn't a believer, believe me, I believe that sort of stuff on some certain levels.

I just thought it was one God of Death. Not a whole army of them.

Shinji explained how they worked like a military force would, with the whole ranks being of Captain-Generals, Captains, Lieutenants, and Seated Officers. 13 Companies is how far the Shinigamis had, all Companies having an agenda of their own on how to run it, some of it military, some of it investigations, and one being of science and technology. I always believed that the afterlife would function on a spiritual base, not a military type but I suppose some things aren't what they seemed to be.

I had one time asked why I couldn't pass on like any normal spirit could.

Shinji said it was because I wasn't a normal spirit anymore, my Chain of Fate was gone and now I was... something else. I had also asked what had become of my mother if I was here, but Shinji chose not to answer, leaving me alone since I got the feeling that I wasn't going to like what happened to her. But he promised, after I finally came to some terms over things I didn't understand, that he would tell me.

So I sat there, looking at the ground for so long I began to see through it with the images playing over my head about my life. The others were crowded together, watching television, reading Shounen Jump, talking to each other, or just whatever crap they had to pass the time in this boring huge dome hide-out under an abandoned warehouse. I didn't feel like socializing myself with these people, I only talked when I needed some questions answered, even if the answers didn't come out so pleasant.

All I could think about was my family.

_'Is this the kind of question someone dead asks themselves?'_ I thought, leaning my back against a rock.

Meanwhile, Hiyori glared at the newbie of the group from where she sat, on a couch with her legs crossed and hands resting on her ankles to keep them properly folded. She didn't like him, this Ichigeki person. That idiot thought it was the end of the world for him, well, he didn't know the pain like she and everyone had endured the past 94 years. They had been branded criminals, had to hide from the eyes of Soul Society, and give up their status as Shinigamis and all of a sudden this little punk comes in crying about his family and mommy?

She hated this guy!

"Stop glaring at him."

"Shut up, baldy!" Hiyori roughly snapped, tearing her eyes away from the orange-haired brat to the blond seated on a nearby chair while boredly looking through old sports magazines. "Why the hell is he staying here with us, anyway?"

Shinji paused from his flipping to the next page, his eyes looking up at her dully. He stared at her for a long time, until she felt her hackles rise and about to snap but he beat her to the punch before she decided to use her slippers to slap that idiot crazy.

"You know why." Shinji easily says.

"That still has nothing to do with us!" she growls.

"Are you stupid?" Shinji's eyes darkened. "You want something like THAT to be running around in the open?"

She frowned, giving a glance to the stranger who kept his distance.

"If we left him alone as he was," Shinji continued, looking down at his magazine once more. "He could have destroyed this town, with everything inside it. Including us."

"Then why didn't you just—"

"Because," Shinji interrupted strongly, not wanting to go to that subject he had days ago. "I don't like being the bad guy."

"I don't care! You should still do it!"

"Even if I wanted to, HE wouldn't allow that. And you know how much we owe him after he saved all our asses."

"So you wanna use this kid?" Hiyori asked, staring at Ichigeki but more calmly now. "Is that why you're keeping him around us?"

"I wouldn't say using him." Shinji looked over his shoulder to the newbie as well. "More like... giving a helping hand."

* * *

**Later**

"He's not eating." Love said, biting into his bowl of rice.

"What?" Kensei growled as violently ripped the frilly apron off his waist. "What the fuck is wrong with my cooking? I kill that little bastard!"

"What do you expect? Not eating is a sign of depression." Rose rolled his eyes at the two men as he stirred his ramen noodle to cool it slightly as some of the steam rose.

"He hasn't been eating for two days. I leave him a tray of food and water and when I go back, its still full." Love shrugged, digging more into his rice.

"He's just being a bitch." Hiyori growled as she ripped into the meat of her dinner. "And why the hell do we keep talking about him? Change the subject, I don't like where this stupid conversation is going! It's pointless!"

"That's because this is the most recent excitement we got since we found Lisa and Kensei—"

**_SMACK!_**

**_THWAP!_**

Both Kensei and Lisa stood over Love with folded fists, glaring angrily of the embarrassing subject all of them had to keep quiet about or else they would have bumps, scratches, and bruises littered over their faces. The others flinched and chose not to pursue the subject and rather just move onto something else. Besides, there really wasn't much they could do but just sit there and wait for the boy to finally open up, but it was taking long and it was starting to make everyone edgy and it wouldn't be long before Hiyori decides she wants to cleave the guy in half.

Shinji knew he was gonna be lectured for this eventually later on but if this would at least help make the process go by a little faster then just maybe it would be more helpful for both them and the brooding man sitting in the distance. Standing up and stretching his arms out a bit, he turned to Lisa.

"You're in charge, I'm gonna go out for a bit." he grabbed his coat and cap, heading towards the stairs.

"Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?" Hiyori shoots up, wanting to go ahead and follow.

"Sorry Hiyori, can't say. It's a surprise."

Before she could demand anymore, he flashed away and appeared at the warehouse floor, slipping through the shields Hachi created and pulled his coat closer when the rain showered down on him. He gave a small sigh, giving a glance to the darkened skies before calmly heading off to where he could get some information out of a certain someone. It was cruel to do this to the new guy, especially when he was fresh and scared in the whole thing but it had to be done and the others would do things that could make things even worse, especially Hiyori.

* * *

I remembered when I was 15 and Ichigo was 5, he just waved at some guy across the street that looked sad but brightened up when a little boy noticed him. That's when I found out that my brother could see things that normal people couldn't, I used to think that I was alone in the whole "I-can-see-the-dead" thing but I'm not. Another person to see ghosts was Karin, dad was having a hard time trying to cheer her up and only made it worse, but then my little baby sister spotted a young girl who did these funny faces and she started laughing (dad took credit that he was the one that made her laugh).

I never really did pay much attention how a spirit felt, hated that they were invisible to the whole world and when someone would finally look at you instead of through then it was a miracle. I was among the spirits and my father and little sister Yuzu could not see me but only Ichigo and Karin could. If mom was dead she should be here with me, wouldn't she?

This really sucked.

"Enough already!" I hear someone shout a few feet away from where I'm sitting. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You think you have it bad? How do you think we feel?"

This Hiyori girl, I don't like her at all.

"You just love to pick a fight with anything that has a pulse." Love (such a weird name) scolds her, but Hiyori came back like a fire-cracker.

"Why are you all so defensive about it? You know I'm right! I can see it bothers everybody because that punk over here is being a whiny bitch about dying!"

"Hiyori!"

Why couldn't they just stop it? Stop trying to "save" me from whatever was out there beyond this dome, I just wanted to go and see my family who would be able to spot me since I'm dead. Sure, dad and Yuzu couldn't see me, but at least Ichigo and Karin could, tell me how much they missed me and such and I only wished mom was there with me instead of... somewhere else.

Someone grabbed a fistful of my front shirt, pulling on it so roughly it kind of lifted my body a little. Normally I would have responded violently to this, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't do anything because I felt nothing in me that motivated me to do something. I didn't feel just dead physically, I felt dead inside this spiritual world, I wasn't at peace with anything. I just wanted to go home and try to make things better, if I could.

"Snap out of it, damn you!" Hiyori shouts in my face, shaking me a little. "Stop making that damn face! I'm sick of looking at it!"

"HIYORI!"

I ended up looking at the blue sky, not wanting to see her angry face so close to me. Why did she bother with me? She wasn't alone in this, she was with others that seemed to care about her despite her behaviour, and here I was because my family... my own family, they were out of my reach. So why was she so angry?

It seemed someone had pulled her away from trying to probably hurt me since she saw me ignoring her and rather stare at the dome ceiling. I flopped back on my ass, watched as Love held her back, dragging her along while someone else stood by me. It was that white-haired man, Kensei, he watched as Hiyori was dragged away before flicked his eyes down to me for some time.

"She's right you know." he said gruffly, scowling at me. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, we had to endure longer than you. Some of us still grieve about it, so it pisses us off that you think everything had ended for you, kid."

"It just did." I bitterly say, clutching my pant legs.

"Oi, oi," someone appeared, making me look up. "Did something exciting happen that I missed out? C'mon guys, don't leave me out, I like exciting things."

Shinji looked a bit damn but not enough to get a cold from walking (or flashing) around in the rain, he shrugged off his coat and kept his hat. Kensei folded his arms, stepping back but staying close. Shinji sat on a nearby rock, resting his hands in his pockets and watching Love and Lisa try to calm Hiyori.

"Your funeral," I felt myself freeze. "It's happening this Wednesday."

"Shinji...!" Kensei spoke so urgently but Shinji raised a hand to silence him.

"You're not allowed to meet them, but I guess it doesn't mean you can't actually see them." Shinji turned his eyes on me. "I don't things like this for complete strangers you know, so be a little open-hearted after this. Understand?"

I didn't like these people... but I suppose... they were okay.


	5. Nothing:Everything Changes

**A/N:** Sorry for not updating, I was busy... THAT and I didn't much ideas until later afterwards. Yeah, is the story great or what? Nice reviews here and there but good enough to keep the steam in this engine going. You all must be wondering why Ichigeki fell in the hands of the Vizard, yes? Well, that won't be revealed until much later when I deem it proper to introduce the idea of why he's in their hands instead of Urahara or even in the hands of the Shinigami. Originally, the story was suppose to have Ichigeki go to Soul Society instead after his death and from there he does finds his way in the Shinigami Academy and fight his way up in the big leagues in the short course of the six year time period and see where that leads but I thought against it and instead went to the Vizards.

Anyway, you probably heard enough drabblings from someone like me and now I leave you to read away this unique setting in the eyes of an OC that is leading the life of the older brother our favorite orange-haired Substitute Shinigami. Enjoy and remember to read and review!

* * *

Such a depressing weather Karakura was experiencing, but it seemed perfect for the burial of loved ones that unexpectingly lost their lives. A small crowd, all dressed in black, umbrellas out shielding them from the downpour of the crying heavens as the priest performed the burial ceremony for the passing of two of the deceased.

"Hey, it's this way." a hand tugged my collar, stopping me from going through the entryway of the cemetary.

Shinji shook his head as I silently followed, regretingly giving a last look at the entrance where it was clear to see the small crowd ahead gathered around a grave. Love was first to jump over a tall cement wall, I blinked in surprise of how easy it seemed for him to do something like that. Kensei followed afterwards, and I looked behind to find Shinji waiting for me to follow the example of the two other men waiting on the otherside where the trees were thicker for us to remain unseen of the group of mourning funeral attendants.

"Well?" he prodded me. "Aren't you gonna jump?"

I looked back to the wall before running and reaching for the top, I heard a snort behind me but I ignore it. Like hell I'm gonna perform a crazy high jump that was impossible for someone like me to perform... but then again I'm not really normal considering I'm not alive. With that thought, I pull myself and found myself in the air for a quick moment, a little too high for my liking and looking down to see the two waiting men down below.

"If there was a moon out, he'd jump over it." Love joked as I landed on my own two feet.

"You're a spirit," Shinji explains at my confusion as he joins the rest. "You're pretty much free to do what your body had been limited. That's why you can jump higher than usual."

Shinji led the group ahead, me in the middle since they didn't so much as trust me in the front or behind them since I could sneak off and do something incredibly stupid. But, if I wanted to do things by myself without the supervision, I was going to have to do what they wanted for now before they finally loosen the leash enough for me to break out of their hold on me. I finally see the clearing through the thick forest and I am forced to crouch down when Kensei pushes my head down behind a bush.

So here I am, hiding behind a bush and watching my own two eyes of the events of mine and my mother's funeral. People I knew were there, some patients that I had helped my dad with and others I helped on my own that inspired me to study abroad on med school to give dad a helping hand when I would return. My friends were there, Mizuho being the first I spotted, her usual angry face replaced with the most emptiest look I've ever seen, it didn't suit her.

But my eyes trailed to the only concern and reason why I wanted to be here; my family.

Dad, the guy who could be so loud and annoying yet honest and hard-working never looked so broken, it hurt so much to look at him like this that I prefurred he went back to his old self. I often remembered, somewhere between his kicking and joking that he was the proudest father to have someone like me brought into this world with the woman he loved. I would always brush it off, just punch him in the nose and let him lie on the floor to go watch some TV or do homework so that the teachers would stop pestering me on assuming I'm an idiot with dyed hair. But now... now I wish I could've said something, told him that I was happy to be his kid despite how crazy he was, but being too much of a proud man had left me silent.

The girls were no better, dad couldn't hold them so they had to rely on the old lady who lived a few doors down that was a visitor of the Kurosaki clinic since she and mom were old friends. They cried into that woman's arms, never to be held by the comforting and familiar arms of the woman who gave birth to them. I wouldn't be able to watch some anime shows with Karin, those Gundam robots that kick ass. Yuzu wouldn't have someone to run to when she was too scared of the monster waiting under her bed, probably run run to my room only to find it empty and suddenly remember her big brother is gone.

And there was Ichigo.

He stood beside dad, his bright hair a sharp contrast of today's mood. Tears falling for not getting beaten up by Tatsuki in the dojo, or the other kids teasing him, not even tears of frustration over things he couldn't understand. Those sort of tears were the kind I never wanted to see him let out.

"Is he your little brother?"

I had nearly flinched from the breaking of silence, my eyes glance to Love, sitting to my left as he watched the funeral continue on. I slowly nod in answer, my voice not with me today on this dreaded evening.

"I can see the resemblance." I almost roll my eyes of how obvious it is the resemblance between me and Ichigo was but then Shinji sighs, resting his head on his upturned hands before adding, "You both cry a lot."

I wanted to punch him for that, saying things not only about me but my precious little brother, but the fact was it was true. Shinji probably spys on me when I think no one is there, crying to myself when I couldn't hold it much longer inside me. Mom always told me never to bottle feelings because not only was it unhealthy but because one day it was going to be too full, it would burst. So I would stay silent in the day, and then I would cry in the night when I think everyone is sleeping off in their own rooms.

And we watched on, the rain coming down in the July weather...

* * *

**Later**

"Yaawwwn...!" Shinji stretches. "Man, am I tired!"

"You'd think it was night time from how dark the clouds are today." Love notes as he looks at the sky. "And it's 3 in the afternoon."

I walked behind the two, Kensei a little ways beside me to keep me from running. The funeral had ended and people had left, albeit slowly since most lingered on staring blankly at the stone engraved with my mother's name along with my own. I never could look away from my brother, he was the last there, still crying for his mother and brother. Dad had to finally make a move and grab the crying little ginger-head and move to the car waiting for them driven by a friend of dad's.

"Oi, should we pick something up from the store. Hiyori is complaining about the lack of food in the fridge."

"And who's fault is that?"

"What?"

"Don't think I don't know who keeps sneaking around in the middle of the night to get extra in his tummy!"

I never did understand these guys, I just don't get people sometimes. One minute they're serious and the next they bicker like little children, their mood swings worse than a girls when she's on that time of the month like someone people I knew (unfortunately). It's a wonder how I got stuck with a bunch of oddballs that had a feel about them that made the different from the crowd, but of course I wouldn't be one to talk seeing as I have natural orange hair with a permanent angry look on my face that was well known in elementary school to high school. Always bothersome but I got stronger because of it.

"Hey," Shinji calls from ahead, looking over his shouler. "Catch up, you slowpoke."

"Shut up." I quietly snap, not in the mood for stupidity.

"What...? I do this and he still acts like that?" Shinji growls, whipping his head in front while folding his arms. His mood now sour. "Well, ain't that a nice way of a saying thank you!"

I just ignored him, it wasn't from the annoyance because I do get annoyed easily enough to get me raising my fists and breaking jaws to make the person shut up, but because of a familiar street I had come across. I hadn't noticed my stop until I felt my hoodie tugged, making me break out of my daze to see Kensei.

"Hey, don't stand there. Walk!" he commanded.

"What's the hold up?" Love called with Shinji following along with his still sour look, walking back to us when he noticed me and Kensei were way behind. "C'mon Kurosaki, we don't wanna be out in the open too long."

I looked back at the direction of the street, staring endlessly until the vanishing point I mostly saw in drawings, paintings, and such other sketches. It hurt, but I wanted to be there rather than make a bee line for the warehouse, I just wanted to be outside in the place where I grew up before dying.

"Can..." I trailed off, a little hesitant before finding resolve to continue. "We walk down this road?"

"What? No!" Kensei snaps, folding his arms. "We did enough, you ungrateful punk! We went to see your funeral—"

"Please," I pitifully begged the light-haired man, something I never do.

They looked surprised, having seen my attitude from anger to deep and utter despair and turmoil. I wouldn't blame people to assume things like that, from the way my permanent scowl is set and how narrowed my eyes were, it could practically scare people away from me and make me unfriendly. But... there had been very few who saw past my face and dove deeper into my world of fighting and harrassing, and for that I was surrounded by people who wanted to bond with me not because they owed me or were scared I was gonna lash out but because they decided for themselves to let them enter a place full of trust and friendship. I wouldn't know what would happen to me if I didn't have them, but I never regret being with them.

"Please," I say again, looking down at my feet weakly. "I... I just wanna walk down here for a bit. That's all."

A long time for silence to dwell over everyone's head. Streets damp and slippery from the downpair, as well as empty, not a single person in sight in the dark day. Quiet but noisy enough from the deep rumblings of the clouds above, an occasional bark from a dog in someone's yard. Just dead silent.

"Alright," Shinji sighs out, tipping his hat forward. "It's only because you asked nicely."

I looked up to Shinji. "Thanks."

"Whatever," he waves me off, walking past me towards the street.

"Shinji..."

"C'mon fellas, I hear there's some good ice cream around here."

I got a dirty look from Kensei but I stared up ahead on the road, hands in my pocket and eyes straight forward. We walk through the empty streets for a long time, a car or two occasionally driving by and splashing some of the puddles but that was pretty much it. It was quiet, just the foot steps and the thunder clapping in the skies. I spotted a lot of familiar shops that I would sometimes visit in my free time.

Shinji found that ice cream parlor, getting his three scoops of vanilla, cookies-n-cream, and bubble gum. Odd combination but I didn't say anything, and all the while I was standing outside with the guys I saw the people inside sometimes glance out where Kensei and Love were standing but never where I was, and if they did, they were looking right through me.

"Gigai."

"Huh?"

Love removed his headphone, still staring through the glass at Shinji while speaking, if he said so directly me he'd probably get odd looks from the patrons on wondering just why the hell he was talking to thin air. I knew the feeling, sometimes getting awkward moments myself when I was being bothered by a ghost that ruffled my feathers I had random outbursts in front of my friends or classmates.

"We're wearing gigai. Artifical fuax bodies that let souls like us enter a physical body to actually be seen by the human eye." Love explains. "That's why they can see us and not you."

"I know that part." I mumbled grumpily, looking at some random puddle.

"Don't tell that kid this stuff, he'll get ideas!" Kensei growls, glaring at Love. "It's bad enough he's pulling guilt trip on Shinji but dammit don't fall for that, too!"

"I'm right here!" I snap, glaring at Kensei. "You're complaining is just as bad as my bitching, so shut your fucking mouth!"

"Say that again!" shouted Kensei, pointing at me challengingly, something I sometimes often couldn't resist. "Say that again! I DARE YOU!"

"Mommy, why is that man yelling?"

"Fool is talking to the air."

"I bet he's one of those schizophrenic people."

"What a bizarre man..."

"What the hell is he pointing at?"

"Honey, should we call the police?"

Kensei stiffened at the words of the people inside the ice cream parlor, eyes twitching in anger when a slow smile came over my face in smugness of having Kensei make a fool out of himself. I was beginning to see why some ghosts got a kick out making me look crazy in front of people, it was just too funny. Shinji made his appearance, nipping at his ice cream while looking at Kensei with a dull expression on his face.

"Way to go to be crazy, Kensei."

"S-shut up! It's that idiot's fault anyway!" he growled, glaring at me.

"You're the one who started pointing and being a loud mouth, not me." I deadpanned my excuse.

"Fuck you!"

"He's doing it again."

"There's something wrong with that guy!"

This time I wasn't the only one smirking when people began to openly stare at Kensei weirdly from his random violent outbursts on me, the invisible ghost who no one could hear or touch, or see for that matter most importantly. Kensei hurried down the sidewalk to get away from anymore of the embarrassment while Shinji, Love, and me followed the man behind. The further we walked down, the more calmer it got. The more we walked ahead, I would begin to realize where exactly I was going and wonder why I can't remember the reason wanting to go here.

The river is still full as I had remember.

I slowed my walk when I spot the signs of yellow tapes ahead, Shinji stopped and turned to face me, his ice cream completely gone and his dull expression focused on my face. I wanted to more than anything just shout at what he was looking at but I didn't, he was searching for a reaction but I won't give it to him. I let out a sigh before hurrying up my walk down the sidewalk, the same path I used when walking with my mother. For the last time.

"Nothing will change, Ichigeki." Shinji advises. "The fact remains, you are where you are."

"Shut up," I said. "I know that."

I stop, looking down at my feet and for a second wondered if they were on automatic. But I found my head lifting and looking at the spot, beyond the yellow tapes that cautioned for any people to enter the area of the crime scene. The spot where I had seen that girl standing, looking down the river and deciding whether to jump or not. If I had just know... I grinded my teeth, my hands resting on the rails and clutching them tightly like a life line until my knuckles were white. Fuck, if I had known.

"Nothing will change."

"I know," my voice cracked, bowing my head once again. "I know. Just... just stop saying that."

Dammit, if I had known... Ichigo wouldn't cry those tears of sadness.

"Lets go." Kensei said, no ill contempt for me at the moment. "It's gonna come down on us soon."

"Yeah," I nod, pulling away from the rain. "Okay."

Before I could get a step to start following them, I suddenlt spot something next to my foot. I squint my eyes at the tiny object before my eyes widen with surprise when I realized what it was. Without hesitation, I crouched down a reach for it, standing up and opening my hand to see if it actually is what I think it is.

Three little fruit charms.

"Oi! Don't stay behind!"

_'Nothing will change,'_ I thought as I clutched on the precious fruit charms in my hand. _'But I will!'_

With determination and resolution, I followed after the three men, hopeful for questions that needed answers and maybe learn more about the advantages of being a spirit. If I can move quick as the others, and maybe be given a sword, I could finally get somewhere...


End file.
